Out with the old, In with the new ~

In the past few days since returning from China I tried my hardest to wake up early and stick it out until at least 9pm to go to sleep. It's been difficult, but at times of jet lag I try to stay productive and fight sleep by deep cleaning my room. It gives me something to do and keeps my mind off of sleep.

I need to make space for a brand new desk (my desk is more than 9 years old!! jeeze!) as the surface of my current desk is all scratched up, discoloured and the drawers won't even slide out without applying force. I also knew that it was time to clean when it was impossible to find room for a single thing that I  had bought from China.

In the the years that I've kept sentimental things, looking through them made me happy and that was it. Simply happy. But this time, it was really different. I was filled with so many different kinds of emotions. Loss. Void. But at the same time happiness and nostalgia. . 

Looking through old things is normally always nice for me because I am a "memory hoarder". Well.. I'm just a hoarder in general (hehe..) but when it comes to sentimental things I hold on so tightly. I keep things for years before I can find it in me to finally let them go. For example, something like an old phone book filled with numbers of my best friends during elementary, I kept until this day. I've only recently threw out it out earlier today (after shredding all of the pages ...  I like being cautious :p). but I don't know why I kept it for all of those years. If I had really wanted to talk to someone from my elementary classes I could probably find them through a mutual friend, but I guess it's just seeing the book, my childish writing and scribbles, and the names of all of my best friends at the time brings back such vivid memories of my childhood. Well.. I guess I finally grew realistic enough to let these things go. I have no use for them but at least writing about them will help me to remember them without cluttering up my room.

I've literally ran out of space and I really need to slim my inventory down to things that really mean the world to me and things that I will actually use. I believe that seeing it, looking through it and remembering it, is enough for me. I don't need to keep it forever. I've got to stop holding onto everything that I had once owned if it doesn't have much to do with my present state of being.

One thing I do love about looking through those things is that it reminds you of how you once were. Lately I've felt myself becoming less and less of a dreamer. I feel like I've been losing a lot of my creative self and having some of these old things reminds me of the energy that I once had and the level of imagination that used to drive it. It reminds me that I still can be that way if I choose to be, and that it could still be in me to be that way once again.

It's not always healthy to hold onto things from the past (esp if they're negative) but it is healthy to use what you have in your past to generate a positive future. Instead of beating up myself about being more of a go-getter in the past, I can transfer that passion that I once had when I was younger to my adult self today.

Those old possessions, photos, and memories remind me that I can continue to dream, to wonder, to be inspired, to inspire others, to learn and to build my own happiness.

Now I know what people meant when they say that they need to feel "inspired" to work on something. I used to pump out blog posts like no tomorrow but now it takes so much thought just to put out something that I feel is worthy to even talk about. I needed that boost of inspiration and a reminder that I am able to do what I choose (even if it's difficult or creatively challenging) and I am able to communicate and express how I feel. 

Now that I've said what I've needed to say, I still have so much more to do!

I had stumbled across this blog while trying to find organization solutions for my office supplies. I think it's a brilliant blog (a  bowl full of lemons) and I already got started on her paper organizing system. Love it! Super useful :)

If you're looking to organize your entire home, she has this 14 week challenge that seems so fun to do! I love cleaning and organizing as it is, but she gets me PUMPED for it! :D

Enjoy your New Years cleaning to those of you who are also doing deep-cleaning of your rooms/home! :)

Val